On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
