Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
