I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize