I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Quick, to the slutcave!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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