You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
