I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
