If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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