the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
