that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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