I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
