things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Less talking, more tequila
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
