so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
