sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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