I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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