he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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