Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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