Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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