i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
