i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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