I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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