Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
