Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
