Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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