she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize