Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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