Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
