i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
