I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
