wanna go halves on a baby?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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