dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
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