Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
