My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
