Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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