she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
