JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
