the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dignity is for republicans.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
