dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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