I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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