The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
