The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
