I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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