Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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