I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize