We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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