It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
