i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize