best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
