I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
