It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
