You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
