Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
