Pappa wants mamma naked
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
