i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
