Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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