Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
is it fun? or sober?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
