If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
