I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
