Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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