it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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