I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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