i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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