i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
