Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
